Answered Prayer - The Home Edition

If you understood the power of prayer, you wouldn't stop praying. Don't you know that God is always for you? That He will provide all your needs? Don't you know, that when you give your problems to Him, He will find a way?

When I filed for divorce, part of the agreement was that he would sign a Quit Claim Deed, putting the town home in my name only. I had contacted the bank and was informed that once I established a good payment history, in my name only, I would be able to have him removed from the loan. The first thing I pay every month is my tithing. But right after that, I pay my mortgage. Without fail, I have made that payment, on my own, for over a year now.

When the 7th month rolled around, I paid my mortgage, and then I called the bank to start the process. Turns out, it wasn't near as simple as I had originally been told. They now wanted me to basically refinance, which meant appraisals, mountains of paperwork, and large fees. Technically, I had the money for the fees, but it was set aside for school. I couldn't justify using the money elsewhere.

After fighting with the bank for a few weeks, they agreed to simplify the process. But they still wanted me to pass a credit inspection and pay the fees, which they were willing to reduce, slightly. I wasn't worried about the credit inspection. At that point, I had been making the payment on my own for about 11 months. But if by some chance, I didn't pass, I lost the money I put down for the fees. That was a risk I could not take. Without that money, I would have to give up a semester of school and I wasn't willing to do that.

I never stopped praying through the process. I kept taking it to God, letting Him know I was frustrated. Each time, I felt His peace. I already knew He had set me up in my home years ago. He had already made sure I didn't lose it in the divorce. God was going to take care of me. I didn't know how, but I knew He would.

I reached the point the bank wasn't going to work with me anymore and I had to decide. I looked into refinancing with a different bank, but because the market is down, that wasn't an option. So one final time, I took it to God. I told him my problem. I didn't feel good about putting that much money into it, not when I was originally told I could just easily have him removed from the loan. I thanked God for providing me with my home and then asked Him to let me know what to do.

Be still. Do nothing. Wait it out. I thought that meant I would just have to wait until the market picked back up and then I could refinance. I didn't see any other options. So I decided to just wait and hope it didn't become an issue later down the road.

Last week, the bank sent out a survey. In the comment section, I unloaded my frustration of the last several months. How I was told it would be an easy process and how it had turned into a lengthy one, with fees. I let them know I was no longer a happy customer and I would be moving my mortgage as soon as the market picked up. As I went to hit submit, I noticed the survey was actually for their mobile app. I almost deleted it all. But I had finally been given a place to voice my complaint and so I hit submit.

On Monday, the vice president of the Salt Lake City branch called me. She apologized for all the problems I had experienced. She wanted to make it right. She wanted to do what she could to keep me as a customer. She was going to waive the fees and have the paperwork drawn up to remove him from the loan.

I was in shock and asked her several times, "No fees? I just have to come sign some papers?" What had seemed impossible was suddenly happening. I had basically given up, but God had continued to move behind the scenes.

Even after I got off the phone with the bank, I figured it would still be a few weeks before I heard back from them again. They had also informed me that he would need to sign also, which was a bag I didn't want to open. We've had no contact since April and I would like to keep it that way. But just two days later, they had the paperwork ready. And to top it off, only I had to sign off because he had signed the Quit Claim Deed last year. After months of tears and frustrations, its finally over. It was the last thing tying me to my failed marriage. Knowing he was still on the loan weighed me down. 

I'm still in shock.God didn't answer my prayer the way I thought He would. He went above and beyond what I could ever imagine. I was ready to wait years until the market picked up and then refinance. That would have involved fees. There was also the risk of still having him on the mortgage, even though I had agreed to take it all on myself. But I saw no other way. How grateful I am to serve a God who's ways are higher than mine. I couldn't see a solution, but He could. God is great. God is good. God is always in control. 

Immediately

I've spent the last few mornings reading and studying from Mark 5: 21-43, the story of the healing of the woman with the issue of blood and the story of bringing back Jarius' daughter from the dead. I've spent this week trying to dive deeper into the story and I've learned so much. One word keeps jumping out to me. Immediately.

During my infertility struggle, I loved the story of the woman with the issue of blood. I tried to have that kind of faith, that if I could just touch His robe, my body would be healed and I would be able to have a baby. I like to believe that would've work, but God had different plans in mind. Looking into adoption changed my life. I met some amazing people. Even after our adoption fell through, I was able to remain friends with birthmom C. And, given the divorce, I am for once grateful we didn't have children so I could be completely free of my ex.

The woman had been seeing doctors for 12 years! She had poured all her money into treatments, but nothing worked. I can only imagine her hopelessness at this point. She was considered unclean. How great her faith must have been to go out in the crowd and touch His robe. It should have made Him unclean. But instead, He made her clean, immediately. I can imagine her joy that moment she felt her body healed.

Jesus knew He had been touched, and He knew who had done it. But He still called out and asked who had touched him. He didn't do this to call attention to himself; I think He did it to remind her. So if she ever started to doubt, she would remember that moment.

In the midst of this, Jesus was on his way to the home of Jarius where his daughter lay very ill. How did he react when Jesus paused his journey to help another? Before Jesus could get to the home, word arrived that the daughter had died. Jarius had to have been devastated. What if Jesus hadn't stopped? Maybe He could have arrived in time to save his daughter.

But Jesus told him not to fear. Fear and faith can not exist together. You can let fear destroy your faith. Or you can let faith overcome your fear. Jarius must have chosen the later, because they continued on to his home.

The girl was dead, but Jesus spoke to her and told her to get up. No one on earth can talk to a dead person and have them obey. Dead is dead. But when Jesus spoke, the girl immediately arose and got up to walk around. Only Jesus can call a person back from the dead.

I've learned a few things from these stories that took place at the same time.
-Jarius lost his daughter and was about to enter a dark time of grief in his life. The woman was out of options on how to be healed.
-Jarius was a man of importance. The woman was a nobody. She's not even mentioned by name.
-Jarius was probably rich, given his status. The woman had spent all her money on doctors and had to have been poor.
-Jarius came publicly. The woman came secretly.
-Jarius thought Jesus had to do a lot to heal his daughter. The woman thought all she needed was to touch his robe.
-Jesus responded to the woman immediately. His response for Jarius was delayed.
-Jarius' daughter was healed secretly. The woman was healed publicly.
-For both of them, once Jesus acted, healing was instant.

Immediately the woman was healed, even though doctors had tried for 12 years to help her. Immediately the girl came back from the dead.
Immediately our sins are forgiven when we offer them up to the cross. Its not like God says, "let me think about it and get back to you in a week." Once we chose to fully surrender to Him, he receives us immediately.

Not all miracles come immediately, but God is always working. I've had this conversation with two different people in the last 24 hours, so I feel the need to share it here. Wether you get your miracle immediately, or if its delayed, God is always in control. Four years ago, I wanted to purchase a different home, but it didn't work out. That's because God knew that I would need the home I have now with a payment I could afford once I was on my own. Two and a half years ago, He led me to a little church, knowing how much I would need that family in my life this last year.

Don't lose faith. Your blessing is coming. It might take time, but it could also happen immediately. Keep the faith and trust God.

Weakness

Four months ago, I went to church in my pj's. My husband had left me and my world was falling apart. The only thing I knew was that I needed Jesus. My pastor has always said to come as you are, and that is just what I did. I came that day completely broken. There was no other place I wanted to be, except in His presence.

As I sat in the same pew today, I was in awe at all He has done for me. I thought my husband leaving me would kill me. But Jesus sustained me and carried me. As I thought back to that day, I am amazed at how far I have come. Jesus has healed my broken heart and restored my joy. I am His completely.

I know I have shared this verse before, but I keep coming back to it. 2 Corinthians 12:9 "And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. "

At my weakest, He drew me closer to His glory. I am amazed by His love every day, but it was at my lowest I was able to see just how fully and completely He loves me. It was at my weakest that I realized just how strong and powerful He is. Because of my weakness, I was more fully able to see just how wonderful He is. 

For weeks, Jesus was the very air I breathed. I would've never survived without Him. At my darkest point, I cried out to Him, and He saved me. I not only survived, but I feel like I have thrived these last few months. He took everything broken inside of me and restored it. I can never sing His praise enough for all He has done for me. 

I give all the credit to God. I hope as others look at me, they see His light in me. When they wonder how I was able to turn it all around and find my joy, despite the pain, I hope they can see His Glory and Joy inside of me. 

Without Him, I would be lost. But His Grace and Mercy are new each day. I wouldn't have survived without Him. He is my Strength, my Comforter, my Prince of Peace. He carried me through the storm and safely to the shore on the other side. He is always faithful. 

My Heart

God,

Last night I poured my soul out to you. I have been all week, but last night, I was overwhelmed by your peace. Its another moment I wish I could bottle and never forget. I want to write it all down in hopes I never forget.

As I prayed Jeremiah 29: 12-13 "Call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." 

I broke down. I have felt so dead inside I didn't think I had a heart anymore. So many times I have wished it to stop beating. And when I put my hand to my chest, I can't feel it beat inside of my body. So I cried out. How can I seek you with my heart when it feels broken beyond repair?

As I continued to pray, I read Ezekiel 36:26 "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." 

I looked to the heavens and, through the tears, I laughed. Okay God, you win. I don't think I have a heart anymore, but you will create in me a new one. God you are the very air I breathe. Let every breath be of you. Let every thought turn to you. May I only see you. Body, mind, soul and heart, only you Jesus.

How I wish I could curl up, shut out the world and just bask in your presence. Work, family, stress, it all gets in the way and I let it cut me off from you. Then the evil one starts to slip in and muddy the waters of my peace. Guard my heart Jesus. Surround me with your angels so the enemy can't attack. 

2 Thessalonians 3:3 "The Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one."

Micah 7:8 "Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy. Though I fall I will rise; Though I dwell in darkness, the Lord is light for me."

On and on I continued to pray for your strength and comfort and I praised you for your peace. 

2 Chronicles 20: 15,17 "Do not fear or be dismayed... for the battle is not yours but God's....Stand and see the Salvation of the Lord on your behalf. Do not fear or be dismayed, for the Lord is with you."

Over and over I prayed those words until they were committed to memory. I am clinging to your promises God. You are always faithful. I follow you into battle and I will praise you in the storm. The enemy has no power here. Not over me or my heart. I give it all to you Jesus!

Romans 8:31 "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

I prayed until I thought I was done. I could feel your peace and I knew I could sleep. But as I laid in bed, I continued to bask in your love. The weaker part of me asked for a sign, a glimpse, something to know your plan.

And then, I felt my heart beating in my chest. It wasn't the answer I thought I wanted, but it was the answer I needed. You will protect me. You are my strength. Let my heart be completely yours. Help me to be still as I cling to your promises.

Ephesians 3:20 "God is able to do Exceedingly, Abundantly, Above All that we ask or think."

God Is Able

I just read an amazing book "God Is Able" by Priscilla Shirer. I ordered it in the mail earlier this week and it came yesterday. The second I picked it up, I couldn't put it down. As in: I almost skipped dinner to keep reading it, but instead I stayed up 2+ hours past by bedtime, just so I could finish it.

The book is based on Ephesians 3:20-21.

Read it again. 

Now read it slowly.

Let it sink in.

(Its okay, I had to read it a few times too.)

God Is Able.

I wish I could buy a copy of the book for everyone I know. The least I can do is share some of my thoughts here.

We all have an IT thing in our life. An IT that we don't think we can get past. An IT we think we can never heal from. Each one of us has an IT. I started the book because I have a huge IT right now and I can't see how to fix it. I decided to write a list of my IT's. I was too scared to write the big one down first, so I started with a few others. 

I have a lot of IT's. Once I started writing them down, I couldn't stop. I then spent the rest of the book realizing that my IT's are nothing compared to my GOD. God who is all powerful. God who is all knowing. God who is always faithful. God who goes exceedingly, abundantly, above all!

Exceedingly, abundantly, above all. I loved how Priscilla Shirer said God goes beyond beyondness. What you hope for, God can do even more so, far than you or I could ever imagine. 

But I also noticed that the scripture doesn't say immediately. Sometimes, it takes time. Sometimes, He has a big plan in place and you can't see it yet. But don't stop waiting patiently on God. He is always at work. He created the galaxies, your problems are nothing to Him.

I couldn't help but think about a few of my recent blessings from God. Last fall, while walking with a friend, we found a kitten. I immediately picked him up and within seconds I had named him Blue. We had been content with just Zipper & Gaby, but immediately Blue became a part of the family. 

Six short months later Zipper passed away. I was heartbroken. But as I was praying last night, it all clicked together. Right after we found Blue, Zipper started to get sick. I took him to one vet, but they brushed it off. A few months later, I took him to another vet and that is when we learned his time was short.

When I found Blue, I had not idea how much I would need him. But God did. God knew I was going to have to say goodbye to Zipper and that my heart would break. In His loving care, He gave me Blue as my comfort for these lonely nights. I couldn't see that until now, but God always knew.

This spring I had another big IT in my life. I felt like I had hit a wall with my schooling and I was ready to give up, or at the least take a break. But I felt like if I did that, I wouldn't go back. God opened some doors and helped with a few things, but I was still in a slump. As I started the summer semester, I kept thinking, "I can't do this." I would also think about calling the college and dropping my classes.

But each time, something got in the way. I'd go a few days and then think about it again. And again, something would get in the way and I'd forget to call. Finally, I reached (what I thought) was a breaking point. I was going to take the summer off and then see how I felt in the fall. As I was driving down the road, I dialed the college and asked what I needed to do to drop my courses for the summer.

I had literally missed the drop deadline by 12 hours! If I had called the day before, I would've been able to drop my courses and get my full tuition back. But like always, something came up and I didn't get the chance to call. I wasn't willing to loose my tuition, so I decided to push through and stay in my classes.

And you know what? This has ended up being not only an easier semester, but also a fun one. I was so caught up in everything else, that I couldn't realize that. But God knew! He knew I would later regret quitting. Even though I still don't know what I would have done come fall semester, God knew and I know that He did everything so I could keep going. God knew that when I did eventually get around to this class, I would end up loving it. God knew that I would find the time to work hard. 

I still have several IT's in my life, but suddenly, they don't seem so impossible. I  have no idea how God will handle them, but I know He will.

I still have my list of IT's, but suddenly they don't seem so big because I know God Is Able. 

Be Still

When the Israelites left Egypt, the Pharaoh changed his mind about letting them go. Exodus 14:7 says that he took 600 of his best chariots and boldly chased after them.

The Israelites were in a tight spot. They had an army closing in on them from behind and a sea looming before them. They had no where to go. For all appearances, they were doomed.

But then in Exodus 14:13 Moses told them "Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the Lord which He will accomplish for you today." and in verse 14 he tells them to stand still. "The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."

Can you imagine the fear?

The panic?

The chaos?

And what does Moses say?

Be at peace, stay calm, be still. The LORD will fight for you.

Such simple words.

Be still.

Stay calm.

Do nothing.

The LORD will fight for you.


Lord,
Help me to remember there is no problem beyond your loving care. You are GOD and there is absolutely nothing you can't do.  Any attempt I would try to make would be worthless in comparison to your great power. Don't let me doubt when things feel hopeless, but instead let me put my trust in you. The enemy may come at me from every angle, but you, God, are all powerful. You split the Red Sea to save your people. You will do the same for me. The enemy may attack, but I hold fast in you. Jesus, I will stand still and let you fight this battle for me. I know you will show up and do a mighty and great thing.  Lord, I will stand still and let you fight my battles for me. Your name be ever praised.

God is near the broken hearted

Its been a week where I have prayed for a miracle. For comfort. For peace. For understanding. There were several moments when all I could pray was  "please Jesus."

My heart is so heavy today. I'm so glad I have the comfort of God to see me through. The peace in knowing that my friend is now in the glory of God.