I was thinking about T and how much I love her. How much I miss her. How worried I am about her and her son.
The story begins with the younger son. He wanted his inheritance now. The father most likely knew that he would take it and waste it, but he gave it to him anyways. He let him make his own choices.
Sometimes, its hard to understand the choices others make. We think we can see how it is a mistake, but you can't change their minds. They have to make their own decisions. And then, they have to live with the consequences of those decisions.
The son took his money, went to a different land and then squandered it. He was far from home and with no money to take care of his needs. He ended up working in a field, taking care of pigs.
He had to hit rock bottom before he could realize how far gone he was. He realized, that even as a servant to his father, he would be better off than he was at that moment. So he decided to go home.
My favorite verse is Luke 15:20. "So he got up and came to his father, But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him."
His father never stopped loving him. He never stopped watching for him. That versed touched me in so many ways.
First, I thought of when I turned my back on God. I didn't think I needed Him. These last few months, I have realized how wrong I was. My heart has completely turned around the last 6 months. Its like I can't get enough of His word or His love. I live and breathe for Sunday to come, so I can go to church and hear his word. It never fails, no matter my mood. By the 2nd song, I'm smiling and loving every second of it.
And its not just Sunday's. Each day, I yearn to feel Him in my life. Some days, I think I am in continual prayer; telling him my needs, about my fears. Praying for those I love. I've also noticed other changes, how I never listen to the radio anymore. Instead, my soul craves the quietness, so I can communicate with Him. I know longer care what others think of me; instead, I do my best to be more Christlike. I want others to see the changes He has made in me.
I still have trials. I still have bad days. But with God, I know I can face anything. He's got my back. He loves me. And I've realized just how much I need Him. How much I love Him.
Then I thought about T. I know her family is watching and hoping for her to come home again. Not a day passes that they don't pray for her. Not an hour passes that they don't think of her. Not a second passes where they stop loving her. I'm also watching for her to come home, but I know their loves is a millions times more intense because they are her family.
When the son came home, the father gave him a robe, his ring, and sandals. Part of it was to take care of his needs, but it was also to show that he was still his son. That he had never stopped loving him.
T, we will never stop loving you. We are always there for you. When you are ready, we will run out to meet you and embrace you.
Another scripture I loved today was 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
Who comforts us in all our afflictions so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
T's mom and I were talking this weekend. This experience has opened our eyes. I have been saddened to realize just how many people are or have been in an abusive relationship. Every time I turn around, someone else is telling me their story, each more heartbreaking then the next. Its reminded me that we live in a world of sin. This is one of those experiences that has changed my heart. I want to help these people. I'm still learning more, but its like a fire has been lit inside of me, to help others in this situation. I want to help them leave. To comfort them. To help them start a new life. I pray that God will open my eyes to these situations and that I will be able to find a way to help them.
I also loved this scripture, 2 Peter 3:9. "The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance."