Weakness

Four months ago, I went to church in my pj's. My husband had left me and my world was falling apart. The only thing I knew was that I needed Jesus. My pastor has always said to come as you are, and that is just what I did. I came that day completely broken. There was no other place I wanted to be, except in His presence.

As I sat in the same pew today, I was in awe at all He has done for me. I thought my husband leaving me would kill me. But Jesus sustained me and carried me. As I thought back to that day, I am amazed at how far I have come. Jesus has healed my broken heart and restored my joy. I am His completely.

I know I have shared this verse before, but I keep coming back to it. 2 Corinthians 12:9 "And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. "

At my weakest, He drew me closer to His glory. I am amazed by His love every day, but it was at my lowest I was able to see just how fully and completely He loves me. It was at my weakest that I realized just how strong and powerful He is. Because of my weakness, I was more fully able to see just how wonderful He is. 

For weeks, Jesus was the very air I breathed. I would've never survived without Him. At my darkest point, I cried out to Him, and He saved me. I not only survived, but I feel like I have thrived these last few months. He took everything broken inside of me and restored it. I can never sing His praise enough for all He has done for me. 

I give all the credit to God. I hope as others look at me, they see His light in me. When they wonder how I was able to turn it all around and find my joy, despite the pain, I hope they can see His Glory and Joy inside of me. 

Without Him, I would be lost. But His Grace and Mercy are new each day. I wouldn't have survived without Him. He is my Strength, my Comforter, my Prince of Peace. He carried me through the storm and safely to the shore on the other side. He is always faithful. 

My Heart

God,

Last night I poured my soul out to you. I have been all week, but last night, I was overwhelmed by your peace. Its another moment I wish I could bottle and never forget. I want to write it all down in hopes I never forget.

As I prayed Jeremiah 29: 12-13 "Call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." 

I broke down. I have felt so dead inside I didn't think I had a heart anymore. So many times I have wished it to stop beating. And when I put my hand to my chest, I can't feel it beat inside of my body. So I cried out. How can I seek you with my heart when it feels broken beyond repair?

As I continued to pray, I read Ezekiel 36:26 "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." 

I looked to the heavens and, through the tears, I laughed. Okay God, you win. I don't think I have a heart anymore, but you will create in me a new one. God you are the very air I breathe. Let every breath be of you. Let every thought turn to you. May I only see you. Body, mind, soul and heart, only you Jesus.

How I wish I could curl up, shut out the world and just bask in your presence. Work, family, stress, it all gets in the way and I let it cut me off from you. Then the evil one starts to slip in and muddy the waters of my peace. Guard my heart Jesus. Surround me with your angels so the enemy can't attack. 

2 Thessalonians 3:3 "The Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one."

Micah 7:8 "Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy. Though I fall I will rise; Though I dwell in darkness, the Lord is light for me."

On and on I continued to pray for your strength and comfort and I praised you for your peace. 

2 Chronicles 20: 15,17 "Do not fear or be dismayed... for the battle is not yours but God's....Stand and see the Salvation of the Lord on your behalf. Do not fear or be dismayed, for the Lord is with you."

Over and over I prayed those words until they were committed to memory. I am clinging to your promises God. You are always faithful. I follow you into battle and I will praise you in the storm. The enemy has no power here. Not over me or my heart. I give it all to you Jesus!

Romans 8:31 "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

I prayed until I thought I was done. I could feel your peace and I knew I could sleep. But as I laid in bed, I continued to bask in your love. The weaker part of me asked for a sign, a glimpse, something to know your plan.

And then, I felt my heart beating in my chest. It wasn't the answer I thought I wanted, but it was the answer I needed. You will protect me. You are my strength. Let my heart be completely yours. Help me to be still as I cling to your promises.

Ephesians 3:20 "God is able to do Exceedingly, Abundantly, Above All that we ask or think."

God is near the broken hearted

Its been a week where I have prayed for a miracle. For comfort. For peace. For understanding. There were several moments when all I could pray was  "please Jesus."

My heart is so heavy today. I'm so glad I have the comfort of God to see me through. The peace in knowing that my friend is now in the glory of God. 

Come As You Are

The church I attend, Roosevelt Christian Assembly, has a great motto: Come As You Are. I've always loved that I don't feel the need to dress up to fit in. If I come in my blue jeans, I fit right in. Some do where dresses and ties, but most people just come as they normally would to any other outing. 

I've thought about this a lot lately. This motto really covers more than the way you dress. 

Come As You Are. 

Don't dress up. Don't cover the fact that you aren't perfect. Don't pretend to be something you aren't. 

Come as you are.  

No need to cover the sins and the scars, Christ will take care of that. 

Come as you are. 

Don't worry about fixing yourself, let Jesus do that for you. Any changes you try to make on your own won't stick. But with the blood of Jesus, He can wash everything away and make you new. 

Come as you are. 

Jesus is waiting for you to reach out to Him. Trust me, He will catch you the instant you do. 

Come as you are.  

That's what Christ wants. He wants YOU. Bumps, bruises, the whole mess. 

Don't believe me? Read the bible. Jesus sought out those who needed healing. He healed the blind and raised the dead. He forgave the sins of those who came to Him. 

Come as you are. 

Don't wait until you can put on a happy face, while pushing the pain down. 

Come as you are. 

Let Christ take that pain from you. 

Come as you are. You are weak, but He is strong.

Come as you are. 

Because that is how He created you. You were made in His image.

Come as you are. 

Don't wait until the timing feels perfect, because the time is now. 

Come as you are.