Sunday, February 19, 2017

May I Never Lose the Wonder of Your Mercy

Today, in Sunday School, we each took a moment to talk about when we first gave our hearts to God. I still tear up each time I think about my Noel moment. As I sat there, waiting for my turn, I realized, there is no one word to describe it. I don't think I could string together a sentence to describe it. It was relief, forgiveness, mercy, and love all wrapped up together in one moment when I realized that God truly loved me.

Each moment since has been just as incredible. I look back at the last 7 months, the last year, and I am in awe at all He has done for me. At how my God, my Savior, my Strength, has carried me through all the storms the enemy has thrown at me. I could not have done it without Him.

We all stumble and fall, but with God's grace and mercy, we can get back up. Don't let Satan knock you off track. Stand firm in Christ. I feel like I lost and that has been the hardest thing to deal with. I prayed for my marriage. I prayed for my husband. I did all I could, but in the end, I wasn't enough.

Just days before he left, I could not get this song out of my head. Over and over I kept singing it, clinging to Jesus. I didn't know what was coming, but He did. He knew my world was about to be shattered. He was drawing me close, preparing me.

He has restored my joy, but He also knows the burden I still carry. Guilt over what I could have done differently. Sorrow over what I lost. So many times, I have felt like I lost. I was in a battle that I couldn't win and I carry that shame with me. I did all I could, but in the end, it wasn't enough.

Satan attacked, and he may think he won, but I serve a God that is much higher than him. They hung my Savior on the cross and killed him. But 3 days later, He rose from the grave and conquered death. He took my sins and washed them clean with His blood. The darkness will never win because I serve a God who is full of love, mercy and light.