Monday, April 11, 2016

Finding Peace During the Pain - Saying Goodbye to Zipper

These past few weeks, I have spent a lot of time on my knees, seeking the peace of God.

On March 26th, I took my cat Zipper to the vet because I thought he was diabetic. Instead, I was given the devastating news that his kidney's were failing, and his days were numbered. They recommend switching his diet in order to buy some time. They were optimistic he would still be with us for a few months.

Zipper joined our family right as we started our infertility journey. At first, we thought he was a girl and we named him Hope. When the vet corrected us, that he was indeed a boy, we changed his name. From the time he came into our home, he was my baby and I was his momma. We shared a bond that I have never experienced with my other pets.

The next week, his condition continued to worsen. Again, I found myself at the vet asking what else I could try. I just wanted some more time with my baby boy. We tried an IV, and experienced slight success. The next night, while saying my prayers, he started to purr. He'd hadn't purred in weeks. God honored my prayer to have just one more night where he felt like my baby boy again.

Sadly, our time with Zipper was cut short. Instead of months, we were only given 3 weeks. Saturday his condition worsened drastically and we knew the end was near. We went to bed Saturday, thinking he would leave during the night.

Sunday morning, he was still with us, but in a lot of pain. I was in near hysterics. I couldn't find the words to pray, so instead I asked my husband to pray. He tried to get out of it by saying he didn't feel comfortable praying because he feels like he doesn't do it correctly, but I told him to just speak to God.

It was the most beautiful prayer my husband has ever prayed. Immediately, I felt the peace of God wash over me and I knew everything would be okay.

That afternoon, I felt like Zipper was still hanging on, that he didn't want to leave. But watching him in pain was breaking my heart. Again, I went to God and begged Him to receive my Zipper into his loving arms. To give him peace. Again, I felt the love and peace of God wash over me. I felt like I needed to walk away so Zipper could let go.

As I sat on the couch with my husband, suddenly our newest cat, Blue, jumped up and started loving on us. I know it was at that moment God welcomed my cat home. Blue has been one of His blessing in disguises through this ordeal. When I brought him home last fall, I thought I was nuts to take on a 3rd cat. But I believe God knew I would need him at this time.

Zipper isn't a cat that will be easily replaced. We have Gaby, but she is the kind of cat that prefers to be on her own. God, in his loving kindness, knew I would need a cat that would cuddle with me over the next few lonely nights. He also knew I wouldn't be able to open my heart to a new addition after Zipper's death, so he sent us Blue before the trial.

I know to some, that a cat isn't anything special, But to me, he really was my baby. How grateful I am to God for his love and peace during this time. He truly does comfort us at all times and in all things. We just need to ask Him for his peace and then let Him do the rest.

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